It’s no secret that long distance relationships are difficult. Lots of them fail for the same reasons as about no-distance relationships. Sure, there are couples who make long distance work. Below a list of the most common reasons why people fail for it AND HOW TO AVOID IT! 🙂
Your daily contact schedule
The first thing that many couples do when attempting long distance is to set up a contact schedule. You commit to talk on the phone every morning, texting through lunch, and setting up a video call every night. Before you lay down a chatting schedule, remind yourself how often you saw each other when you were in the same city. Most couples that don’t live together don’t see each other every day. Even if they do, it isn’t often at the same time and in the same way. Doing what both partners want instead of what you think supposed to do is the best way to keep the relationship healthy.
Huge costs for traveling
A relationship can be very expensive. Either one of the two is going to spend a lot of money for traveling. The larger the distance, of course, the larger the bill, like an airplane ticket. If every weekend one of the two is traveling, it might costs some savings or quality moments with friends and family. It might sounds not that very encouraging, but when you start a Long Distance Relationship, make sure that either one of you has a favorable financial situation.
Missing the real sex!
It is OK to have phone sex or erotic video calls which could be very exciting, but after all its still not the real sex with physical contact and body temperature. We have to be patient until the day a couple meet, but if it takes too long, patience can be very challenging. Try long distance sex toys while in the meantime have a plan to meet and end the distance!
Your Environment Changes You
As we go further in life, we go also into the wider world, like to move to urban areas, went off to college, or start your first job or career. Our view of the world and values will change. It may happen that either one of the couple is graduated, having its first job while the other still on study. People say that the real school is in the society, and when you start to work for a company, you will face working pressure that is different than having exams or assignments for school, because you got paid and need to respond to your manager. You as person will change in how you see the world that might result in different views comparing with your partner. And if life perception of one partner change, the relationship could change too, or maybe even come to an end. So make sure to communicate closely and share experiences with your partner so he/she has a sense of understanding in what life stage you are into.
You Can’t Feel The Relationship Progress
This can be really frustrating when you put so much effort and time for late night phone calls, trying to understand your partner lifestyle and to wait for the day to meet again. But after a long period, everything is still the same… IF this situation happens, both need huge confidence, courage and belief that this relationship is still on the right track, otherwise it could end up in a dead end. A LDR definitely needs progression and make sure to have a plan to end the distance sooner or later, at least you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Not Set a Reunion Date
Long distance relationships generally happen for a reason. One partner may get a job in another city, go back to school in his/her own country, or has a military service somewhere else in the world. All of these things can happen on timetables; all of them can have a firm end date. If there is no time table for reuniting with your significant other, that’s a problem. If you don’t have a date to look forward to, it might put yourself in doubt if this relationship is worth to continue. If you have no idea when a tough situation is going to end, it is much harder to justify to yourself why you’re putting yourself through it in the first place. Make sure there is a verbal agreement when the next reunion will happen.
You Aren’t Willing to Sacrifice For Each Other
In the twenty-first century, many couples include like two career-minded and driven individuals. If your goals are pulling you in different directions, eventually one person is going to have to sacrifice for the other, or the relationship will end. Simple as that. If you’re working towards a financial institution in New York and your boyfriend is grinding out the prestigious tech internship in Silicon Valley, are either you or him really going to leave your/his network and connections to be together? Is he eventually going to leave their job and their friends to be with you? Long distance relationships involve a lot of little sacrifices of career, friends and money over time. Before you commit thousands of dollars and all of your frequent flyer miles to a relationship, it might be a good idea to make sure that you’re both sitting at the same page.
You Grow Apart
There is a good chance you went the long distance route because you and your partner are at different stages of life. For example, one of the most common long distance scenarios is one partner is still in college while the other just start his career. It’s often said that you can’t make anyone change; it is equally true that you can’t stop someone from changing. Whether one of you is in college and the other is working, one of you is floating through your twenties while the other is starting their career, or one of you finding yourself while the other is settling down, it is important to be frank with each other about how you’re evolving. Sometimes reuniting after a period of long-distance isn’t just asking someone to move, it can be asking someone to fundamentally change who they are. Surprisingly, that doesn’t turn out so well.